To Be a Mailman
1,940 Words. 8 Minute Read.
A friend from high school recently became a mailman in his mid-forties. My first thought was, “That lucky son of a bitch.”
Sweet Sixteen
512 Words. 2 Minute Read.
My daughter turned sixteen today… hard to believe. I gave her sixteen books for her birthday, most used, along with the following letter explaining the choice of books.
30,000 Calories of Eggnog
852 Words. 3 Minute Read.
I scuttled through the kitchen, my wool socks lazily skating over the hardwood floors like Snoopy on a frozen lake, until I opened the Frigidaire and saw the one thing that brings me gastronomical joy – eggnog.
Graydon Carter, Pulp, and Delusion
655 Words. 2 Minute Read.
I proceeded to enjoy two cups of coffee, a bowl of Grape-Nuts, and a tall glass of pulp-free orange juice. It blows my mind that pulp is still an option. The fact that there are people who prefer waxy flakes in their orange juice is beyond all comprehension.
Pee-wee Herman & Savile Row
1,672 Words. 6 Minute Read.
Once upon a time, in a drab corporate office, I had a boss who was so stupid you could cram his brain up an ant’s ass, and it would bounce around like a BB in a boxcar. I tried like hell to cater to his many shortcomings—lack of humor topping the list—but Pee-wee’s inability to lead was too tall an order.