
Regret Spectacles: A Field Guide
906 Words. 4 Minute Read.
These glasses were created in a cabalistic cave by mystics—in fact, they can bend the spacetime continuum—they allow you to see into the future, but more importantly, they let you feel the future.

Sisyphus and the Cashew: A Tragic Dental Epic
535 Words. 2 Minute Read.
Is there anything more satisfying than dislodging something with your tongue that’s been stuck between your teeth?

The Long Goodbye - to Cigarettes
874 Words. 3 Minute Read.
I made a New Year's resolution in college to start smoking. While everyone else swore them off, I swore them on.

Wading in a Pond of Fear
1,366 Words. 5 minute Read.
I am the emotional manifestation of stitches barely holding a life together—symmetrical and tidy on the outside, battered and bruised within, like a foot inside a ballet slipper.

The Masters and Bedtime
332 Words. 1 Minute Read.
When my kids were babies, I played The Masters theme song to put them to sleep, and it worked every time.